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People for the Ethical Treatment of Bacteria!

I think we should campaign for bacterial rights! Why stop at cute animals? Why stop with plants?

We have PET A why not PET B!

Bacteria have the right to evolve and to live on you and me and everywhere. Bacteria probably live throughout the universe. They were here before Homo sapiens was. And Homo sapiens can't exist without them.

We have to give bacteria the right to consent. After all they have the biggest slice of the global biodiversity pie.

What can be gained by slipping a foreign gene or two in their genome? Drugs? New peptides? We did not even ask them if it were OK!

Bacteria suffer too. So when animal welfare advocates use antibiotics to treat their animals who suffer from diseases their immune systems can deal with, they are applying needless suffering.

Bacteria need to grow and form colonies everywhere, from your kitchen top surface, to your toilet seat. The lab can never replicate these organisms’ natural habitats. Bacteria are meant to spread freely. In the lab, they are confined to areas much smaller than their natural environments and are deprived of everything that is natural and important to them.

Bacteria should be left alone and multiply in a logistical, exponential and geometric manner!

Since the lab can't be a suitable place for them that leaves out petri dishes and test tubes. But anyone who has taken undergraduate microbiology knows that life in a petri dish with nutrient agar is heaven! (That's until you zap them in an autoclave, that is a literal hell!)

Save our Germs! Don't support or patronize microbiology labs, drug discovery facilities, isopropyl alcohol manufacturers, antiseptics, alco-gels, hospitals and of course antibiotics.

PS: I hope you realize this is a satire!


Wow dude! You are so right! Just think about it: biochemists grow bacteria in a flask or bioreactor and what happens to these bacteria? They get diced up for their proteins or their RNA with no regard for their suffering. Do they even consider what the bacteria want? No. It is like a Nazi death camp on a 500 mL scale. We should let bacteria roam free as God intended!

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