Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Bayani vs the "coños"

The word coño is Pinoy slang for an Anglophone, sometimes Hispanophone person who studies in an "exclusive school", chauffered, and lives in a gated community. Among residents and businesses on Katipunan Road, Quezon City, they cause a periodic,thrice a day horrendous traffic snarl!

Coño is not the word that best describes the traffic snarl of kilometres long magnitude. In Spain people use "coñazo" which translates to "extreme annoyance". The literal meaning is "what a giant cunt!"

Anyway the reason for the snarl is due to the inordinate number of cars (many of them ferrying one student each) that try to enter the few gates of Ateneo and Miriam universities. This has irked MMDA's chairman Bayani Fernando for years. He has tried his signature U turns, but that failed. He tried to uproot the trees on traffic islands on the road (so that more road space is available to motorists). He was blocked by "coño" environmentalists.

Bayani the civil (or is it mechanical) engineer the Philippines' foremost practitioner of social engineering. First he started pink. Pink this, pink that, pink lines, pink overpasses,. Then he put pink fences to channel crowds and commuters. Not much later, people began queing for rides. The Left which has a monopoly on EDSA graffiti got a treatment of MMDA art. Buskers, sidewalk vendors, sidewalk living fixtures a.k.a. "Tambays", Baranggay Halls on sidewalks got the Urbanidad treatment. The Führer would have applauded! (or even Stalin!)

Metro Manila residents have been socially engineered by round faced, and the permanently waved Bayani Fernando. Many agree with what he has done. Now he's taking on the rich kids that go to school in Katipunan.

I don't think Bayani will give in, snarl or no snarl. But there are solutions to the Katipunan traffic problem that Ateneo and Miriam can easily do. First of all, they can build their own private flyover (and charge this to "development fees"). Or better yet, they can promote more seriously car pooling or school busing. There was a suggestion that the schools can give tuition fee discounts for students choosing these options. Another suggestion is that Ateneo can ban cars in campus and build a giant parking building and drop off point nearer to Katipunan. Students can be bused around by university shuttle (this is done in the US to discourage students from bringing in cars)

Ateneo and Miriam are the best walking and biking campuses in Metro Manila even better than UP. The two universities can encourage walking or biking.

One "coño" university that has faced to traffic realities is Ateneo's eternal nemesis, De La Salle on Taft Avenue, Manila. The fact that car parking is hell in downtown Manila has made students and professors take the train or bus. Parking within campus is limited notwithstanding a parking building in campus. Cars are not usually allowed in. This ensures that academic life within campus is undisturbed.

If Bayani can solve the Katipunan traffic problem, he has another problem that is even more "coñazo", it is "coñassismo!". His silly U turn slot on C5 just off the Greenmeadows road can back up traffic up the Libis tunnel and up to KopiRoti! (After you endure that stretch, you can zoom up the Ortigas flyover at 140 kph!)
Of course the revolutionaries of the class struggle can blame the "coños" taking the uuey to have coffee at Eastwood! But that is quite unfair. Even they hate traffic.

No amount of coffee can cure that headache!

1 comment:

AdB said...

I thought "coños" meant something more derogatory, something closer to the word "con" in French (pronounced loosely "kong") which is an expletive to mean stupid or idiotic, etc. The word in French literally means "cunt".